Tuesday, September 20, 2016

We all know about 'THAT MOM'...

Now I know you all know 'that mom'. 

The one who gives you unsolicited parenting or reproductive advice.. that leaves you shaking your head wondering what would make them think that your reproductive abilities are any of their business. 
Or maybe it's your parenting.. 
Or even your family size. 

The mom that makes you sit in your car at the grocery store and write a 'WTF' 'vent' post to all your friends. This crazy person said WHAT to you!!??

To that crazy person....

I'm Sorry!! 

Now I know that the 'reasonable' thing say is something more along the lines of 'what were you thinking?'.. but after being confronted with a situation in which I am fairly certain I am the person considered crazy.. I have come to an understanding about this.

Now to be fair, the other party in this conversation initiated. She said something to me, about appointments and getting in nice and early (mind you it's 8:30am and I am still barely awake). I just smiled, nodded, and said something insignificant in return. She initiated again, talking about it being better that way with two kids, and I think my brain just kinda went 'kaboom'

I blame it on the early hour. I"m usually home eating breakfast at that time or putting O down for his first nap. 

Maybe I can blame it on the lack of caffeine in my life right now while I am detoxing. 

But really, I don't know what the heck I was doing. 

Words were coming out of my mouth about having three children and that I am so tired I sometimes wish my youngest was in daycare so I could do something other than spend all my time with babies. 

Words that resembled 'don't be like me' and 'stop while you can'. 

Words of a borderline anxious and depressed mother who hasn't gotten a moment of alone time in the last 9 months.. who just finished a hemoglobin test with a sensitive, and now very upset, baby. 

This, people, is what a woman on the edge looks like. 

When my mouth had finished rambling off all my stress and exhaustion from having a baby on top of two school age children, and urging this poor woman to cease reproducing lest she end up like me, I looked up, saw her face, and realized that I had, in fact, become 'that mom'. 

It looked a bit like this ^

As I hurried myself into my seat and started my car I smiled awkwardly and shouted a 'have a nice day' as I willed my minivan to magically transport itself across the street where I could be saved from the embarrassment. To say I panicked and left.. well that would be pretty accurate actually.

So, to all those 'that mom's out there that I have silently judged through Facebook posts or friends' recountings I really am sorry. 

Maybe you got no sleep the night before and your brain is on the fritz like mine. Maybe someone set you off earlier and you never really properly defused. Or maybe you have a very valid point and are just not a great communicator (again, something I'm at times guilty of).  Whatever it is, unless you are just a nasty person in general ... and I don't believe most people are.. you probably meant to be a lot more helpful and friendly than you were. 

I can honestly say.. I don't think anyone becomes 'that mom' on purpose. 
And if they do.. well then they probably don't feel bad about it. 

But this mom, I am starting to see how these mis-communications happen.. and often. All of us wandering around in this state of constant chaos from having children and no sleep and lack of proper nutrition or adult conversations. 
It takes a toll! 

So today I am going to encourage each and every one of you reading this to share a time when you have blundered through an encounter with another mom or child. 
Write it down, and then burn the page 
(or rip it up and let the pieces fall into a river if you prefer). 

Let go of the guilt over not being the perfect role model for parents of young children, or people with 'x' amount of children. 
Go do something nice for yourself instead. 

With a little self-care and (hopefully) the support of your loved ones, you too can avoid becoming
'that mom'